moving on

I have met someone that shows a very energetic interst in me. I would be a fool to turn away and not give this person a chance. I can not and will not let the hurt drag me down any more. I don't like feeling this way. I have been lied to and hurt and it doesn't matter if it was intentional or not. Hurt is hurt. I will not make someone else pay for the pain that another has caused me. I will not back down and be defeated im better then that. This is me moving forward and trying again. I don't give a fuck if anyone likes it or not. I am not afraid of my past or the choices that I made. I will continue to grow and become a better person. There is no secret life in a past. I do treat the past like an old book once you have finished it's time to move on to another one. I have been conflicted between my pain and my love as to which road to choose. I have always believed that inside each one of us there are two wolves. One of them is full of hate and evil, the other full of love and light and both of them fight for control. the one that wins is the one you feed the most. I will not feed the negative. not anymore. I used to feed that blackness inside me and it took me down roads im not proud of. I am finally walking in the light. So if you hate me great leave me alone cause im not in your life to cause you any trouble. If you love me than welcome to the dawn of a golden age. rejoice for there is still a heart here that beats with strength and love.

c. A.D. 100

You say that you are feeling my absence very much, and your only comfort when I am not there is to hold my writings in your hand and often put them in my place by your side. I like to think that you miss me and find relief in this sort of consolation. I, too, am always reading your letters, and returning to them again and again as if they were new to me -- but this only fans the fire of my longing for you. If your letters are so dear to me, you can imagine how I delight in your company; do write as often as you can, although you give me pleasure mingled with pain.

truly sad

How pathetic to attack someone on another persons blog. you can't even do it any other way than anonymously. If you have a problem with someone then you should have the courage to step up and speak your mind straight away. don't hide in shadows and innuendo. I have done things in my past that I am not proud of. I have not always been the enlightend soul I am today. I am a man and I am flawed. I will not hide behind that fact or shy away from it. What you did was low and wrong. You should never go through another person and act the way you did. you are a coward! you are worthless and weak. If you got something to say then step up and say it to me. if not then shut the hell up and leave me and my friends alone. keep it up and there will be consequences to your actions.

I sit here crying.

I sit here crying
I don’t know what to do
My life is ending short
What should I do?

What did I do to get this dreadful disease?
I don’t want to go
I don’t want to lose you
You are my life
The reason why I live
And now I have to go?
This must be a sick joke!

I don’t want to believe it I wont believe it
I must fight
I mustn’t give in!

I have to live
I wont lose you I cant

But it looks as if it is already too late
The doctors say that there’s nothing that can be done
I don’t want to believe them
But I must

As I sit here
Thinking of all that’s gone by
With you and me
With all the good and bad times

The tears I shed
Are for you
For I don’t want to leave you

I love you
But you cant possibly understand how much this is true

Now I sit here crying for you
Crying for when I leave I can not see you nor talk to you
But I can protect you and that’s just what I'll do

HE STARTED THIS POEM

He started this poem so long ago but never finished he had to go

he took off without me gave up his fight

but it wasn't on purpose that he left that night

as i went threw his room i read notes that said

that he didn't want to go that he was scared to be dead

and then i saw the poem that tore my heart

if you wait and listen ill begin from the start

“My dearest friends you have helped me more than you could know

and just because i am not here doesn't mean

I’ll go in your hearts i lay forever if you let me stay

in your thoughts ill always be wouldn't have it any other way

I'm sorry i must leave you here but you heard what the doctors say

I'm sorry to have to tell you but your cancer will end you someday”

I cried for nights after that even though it wouldn't change what god had done

and planned for me could never be rearranged

don't shed tears or loose track of years and never let me go

don't hide yourself or your heart always let it show

this poem i write wont have an end

and neither will i even if you see me dead ill always be right by your side

to this day i miss him but i know that he is there

and i try my best to stay strong even if it isn't fair

ill never forget what he told me or what he helped me learn

ill never forget that i love him and that it was just his turn

Will You

Will you listen to me as the rain beats down?
Will you smile at me as the the sun hits the ground?
Will you laugh at my jokes whatever they may be?
Will you remember my love for eternity?

Will you build me up as my world falls apart?
Will you understand these words came from the bottom of my heart?
Will you kiss me tenderly each and every day?
Will you tell me you love me, never with dismay?
Will you save me from evil, protect me from pain?
Will you show me happiness, and ill do the same?
Will you promise me that you will never let me go?
Will you show me a place we can always call home?

Will you stand by my grave when I am gone?
Will you lay down red roses, with a sweat peaceful song?
Will you have me in your heart and keep my love true and...
Will you please remember that I will always love you?

those eyes

I love your eyes, those twinkling eyes,
They speak of a thousand things.

It glows and I drown in its intensity,
I would love to stay there forever.

It evokes myriad memories,
And leaves an imprint on me.

I consider myself lucky enough,
To have experienced its warmth.

When cupid's arrow strikes,
The world seems apparelled in celestial light,
Like the glory and freshness of your eyes.

Just like the morning dew,
Exotic and beautiful.

Every time I look into your eyes,
I'm lost in innumerable memories,
Thus forgetting the world behind me.

I wouldn't expect anything much,
Than just being the Apple of your eye!