I sit here crying.

I sit here crying
I don’t know what to do
My life is ending short
What should I do?

What did I do to get this dreadful disease?
I don’t want to go
I don’t want to lose you
You are my life
The reason why I live
And now I have to go?
This must be a sick joke!

I don’t want to believe it I wont believe it
I must fight
I mustn’t give in!

I have to live
I wont lose you I cant

But it looks as if it is already too late
The doctors say that there’s nothing that can be done
I don’t want to believe them
But I must

As I sit here
Thinking of all that’s gone by
With you and me
With all the good and bad times

The tears I shed
Are for you
For I don’t want to leave you

I love you
But you cant possibly understand how much this is true

Now I sit here crying for you
Crying for when I leave I can not see you nor talk to you
But I can protect you and that’s just what I'll do

HE STARTED THIS POEM

He started this poem so long ago but never finished he had to go

he took off without me gave up his fight

but it wasn't on purpose that he left that night

as i went threw his room i read notes that said

that he didn't want to go that he was scared to be dead

and then i saw the poem that tore my heart

if you wait and listen ill begin from the start

“My dearest friends you have helped me more than you could know

and just because i am not here doesn't mean

I’ll go in your hearts i lay forever if you let me stay

in your thoughts ill always be wouldn't have it any other way

I'm sorry i must leave you here but you heard what the doctors say

I'm sorry to have to tell you but your cancer will end you someday”

I cried for nights after that even though it wouldn't change what god had done

and planned for me could never be rearranged

don't shed tears or loose track of years and never let me go

don't hide yourself or your heart always let it show

this poem i write wont have an end

and neither will i even if you see me dead ill always be right by your side

to this day i miss him but i know that he is there

and i try my best to stay strong even if it isn't fair

ill never forget what he told me or what he helped me learn

ill never forget that i love him and that it was just his turn

Will You

Will you listen to me as the rain beats down?
Will you smile at me as the the sun hits the ground?
Will you laugh at my jokes whatever they may be?
Will you remember my love for eternity?

Will you build me up as my world falls apart?
Will you understand these words came from the bottom of my heart?
Will you kiss me tenderly each and every day?
Will you tell me you love me, never with dismay?
Will you save me from evil, protect me from pain?
Will you show me happiness, and ill do the same?
Will you promise me that you will never let me go?
Will you show me a place we can always call home?

Will you stand by my grave when I am gone?
Will you lay down red roses, with a sweat peaceful song?
Will you have me in your heart and keep my love true and...
Will you please remember that I will always love you?

those eyes

I love your eyes, those twinkling eyes,
They speak of a thousand things.

It glows and I drown in its intensity,
I would love to stay there forever.

It evokes myriad memories,
And leaves an imprint on me.

I consider myself lucky enough,
To have experienced its warmth.

When cupid's arrow strikes,
The world seems apparelled in celestial light,
Like the glory and freshness of your eyes.

Just like the morning dew,
Exotic and beautiful.

Every time I look into your eyes,
I'm lost in innumerable memories,
Thus forgetting the world behind me.

I wouldn't expect anything much,
Than just being the Apple of your eye!

Believe in your heart

Believe in your heart that
something wonderful is about to happen.
Love your life.
Believe in your own powers,
and your own potential,
and in your own innate goodness.
Wake every morning
with the awe of just being alive.
Discover each day the magnificent,
awesome beauty in the world.
Explore and embrace life in yourself
and in everyone you see each day.
Reach within to find your own specialness.
Amaze yourself and rouse those around you
to the potential of each new day.
Don't be afraid to admit
that you are less than perfect;
this is the essence of your humanity.
Let those who love you help you.
Trust enough to be able to take.
Look with hope to the horizon of today,
for today is all we truly have.
Live this day well.
Let a little sun out as well as in.
Create your own rainbows.
Be open to all your possibilities;
all possibilities and Miracles.

Always believe in Miracles.

A million Times

A MILLION TIMES

Author: Unknown

I have seen you a million times
And every time I see you
I fall in love with you all over again
My heart starts to race
My frown turns into a smile
And all my worries are now in my past
When you smile at me my heart melts
You give the sweetest hugs
Every time you hug me
Your smile is like a new day
Your sense of humor is like no other
The ability you have to make me smile
Is all you need you love me
Your laugh is so soft and sweet
Just looking in your eyes
Makes me melt inside
Your lips look so soft
Soft enough to kiss
You, yourself relive me from all pain
Your hands are as soft as a pillow
The way you comfort me is amazing
Every time we say good-bye
I start to cry
I say good-bye to you too many times
I said good-bye to you a million times

3 A.M.

It's 3am and I can't sleep. Torn and battered with the conflicting thoughts that swirl inside my head. Why does she see herself the way she does? How can I get through the walls that she has built up? I feel as though she wants me to sore above them and rescue her. Her feelings and love for me ring clear in the warning that she gave me. She says she has a cold heart but I see that as false. I see that her heart was shattered and fragile and that she is afraid of it being shattered again. It can only take time for her to see the full measure of my resolve. You are the inspiration of all that I do. You bring thoughts, emotions and desires out of me that I thought were long dead and gone.

When you lose a love you think that you will never recover. You feel as though you must have failed. You weren't strong enough, didn't devote enough or maybe everything about you was a huge dissapointment. I could have done more to make it work! YOU ARE WRONG!!!! For a relationship to work it takes two people to work it out. If our spouse or partner isn't willing to give what they promised us then it is doomed to fail.. Not from our lack of action but because of theirs. You can't hold yourself accountable for the short comings of another.

A person who loves you gives not to keep you in their life but because your happiness is the most important thing to them. Your smile is paramount. You see what you have but you think you have ruined it cause you were scared and pushed it away once. Open up your eyes and realize that when someone loves you they are there for you no matter what happens. It's just like in the vows our ex's broke. To love, honor and cherish. In sickness and health, good times and bad till death do us part. It is easy to love someone and stand by them when things are rough but can you stick by them when everything goes right?

No amount of pushing no matter how far you run it won't change the way I feel about you. in the end we will both be miserable and I will still be in love. You chose to find me and to be with me. You chose to open your heart to me. I did the same for you. We are both responsible each others hearts now. You didn't want to give up on your ex because you didn't want to fail or dissapoint.. I bring out emotions and feelings in you he never did so why are you so ready to give up on me? Isn't amazing what you think about at 3 A.M.

this fits

Well I know the words, but I can't really speak them
to you..
And I hide all the pain, that I've gained with my wisdom
from you...
And I'm eaten alive,by what I hold inside
All the things that I live with,i can't easilly hide
And I'm left here with nothing,nothing to live for
but you...

It's not easy to hide
All this damage inside
I'll care it with me
Until I'm not alive...


When u look at my face,does it seem just as ugly
to you...
And I can't seem to erase,all the scars that I have lived with
from you...
I'm so sick of this place,and this taste in my mouth
'Cause of u I can figure,what I'm all about
And I'm left with nothing,nothing to live for
but you...

It's not easy to hide
All this damage inside
I'll care it with me
Til' I'm not alïve...

Last Letter

Dear Michelle, I don't have much time. I mean it literally, But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn't to go down memory lane or make you take time for yourself, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It's to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Michelle even though you would never admit it. And for that, I am eternally grateful... literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being in my life. I'm a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Michelle. But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you

Eulogy

Gary Sullivan, died today from complications of losing his soul mate. He was 34 years old. Strong and obsessive, Sullivan never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But, in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-Jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit of his long reputed soul mate, a woman whom he only spent a few precious moments in life with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late one afternoon in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Sullivan secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. Asked about the loss of his dear friend, Scott Jones, a multi decorated soldier in the war on terror, described Gary as a changed man in the last days of his life. "Things were clearer for him," Jones noted. Ultimately Gary concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call "fatum", what we currently refer to as destiny.

Coming Back To Life

Where were you when I was burned and broken
While the days slipped by from my window watching
Where were you when I was hurt and I was helpless
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me
While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun

Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of life and the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime
I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the waiting had begun
And headed straight . . . into the shining sun

How to say goodby by paul tiernan

Living isn't quite the same
You said to me, it's runnin' away.
If you're scared or tired of what you're scared of
Why should you stay
You love to say goodbye
And always counted all the time
'til he was free
to get up and leave
to learn how to breathe
again...

Slippin' out to have a cigarette
with someone else that he'd never met
Ask her if by the way would you like to
run away and try to forget
Just not to stay
To leave without saying why

To get up and go
To catch the last train
To get in some car and drive out again
To never come back this way
Left to say:

goodbye
so long
farewell
ovwar

goodbye
so long
farewell
ovwuar

Anger

I feel so lost and so alone. I don't have what I need in my life to gather my strength the way I know I need too. I don't know why this cruel joke is being played on me but I guess it's just something that I have to accept. Just like all things fate throws at you. I know what my doctor is going to tell me and for some reason I can't seem to bring myself to accept it.

I always thought I would have more time. Funny isn't it that when we are young we think we are immortal. When we get older we know are days are numbered but we think that it will take many years for the end to come. I have buried so many of my friends. In truth I have buried almost all of them. At least the ones I'm close to. Life is such a strange and wondrous ride and you never seem to accomplish all that you wish you could before the end.

So I face this alone again. Why is it that I'm not shocked. It has been this way my whole life and I now know that is how my life is meant to be. Me standing alone against the world. I have been such a fool to think it could be done another way. Poets don't have the answers to life they are just there to keep us entertained. So with that said stick to reality TV shows. They don't fill you full of false hope.

The reasons

You just don't get it do you? Are you so down and out on the subject of love that you can't see how you can be important to someone? Do you really know your true value to another? I guess it is true you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. There must be some special cypher in life that can be used to show others that it is OK to let go of the past and the pain and move forward with someone that sees them as special. I was told that my situation should be more important to me than any one person. I think that is bullshit.

I say my situation shows me exactly what is important in life. My eyes are open are yours. I may be scared and sad at the place I find myself but my heart is free. I know that we have only one precious moment in this life to find something great. I know that it takes just the slightest effort to move a mountain. When you are faced with death there is only one thing you can really do. Look into your life and find what there is that is worth fighting for. I know that I have things in my life that warrant a fight. But there is always a key element that makes you fight harder and that is love. That one special person that inspires you to live, love and move forward instead of giving in and dying.

this is why I focus on the things that i do cause it gives me strength. That is why love is so important and why everyone should strive to have it and not be afraid of it. Cower in fear and run away if you dare but you may wake up one day and find yourself in my position. will you have love or will you face death alone.

A simple statement

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that
Person..

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need
You have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with
Guidance and support,

To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an
End.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire
Fulfilled, their work is done.

A night terror

I wake up in the night and I feel you there. Cobalt eyes staring at me in the darkness. Why do you stalk me? What have I done? I try to be a good man and live a decent life. I am a father and a friend. I help all those that I can but in the end you still seek to take me with you. How can I fight something such as you? I feel your touch as you linger near me. The stagnant breath of ash and dust. How can this be happening not again.

What can I do to stop this. Is there a bargain to be made? I would not mind facing you if my life were complete. Please give me more time. On my knees I beg for just a little longer. I know you can taste my tears. Does this bring you pleasure? I shudder at the thought of my pain and fear being your entertainment of the moment. You can not do this to me not again. I beat you before and I know I can do it again. I know that I have fight left in me somewhere. Wait I get it now. You were playing with me the last time. You knew this moment would come again and now it is the final moment between us when you will take me away from all that matters to me.

This is so unfair. I have so much left to do. I want to see my kids grow up and graduate. Have children of their own. I need to feel the love of a woman for more than a moment. I know that someone will love me just give it a chance. Don't take me now. I know this is going to be a bad choice for the both of us. Stop watching me and leave me be. Let me live. Let me find that love before you take me. If there is anything of God in you then you will grant me this mercy I plead for with every fiber of my being. There isn't anything like that in you is there? How could there be? You couldn't do your job if there was. Well I will do my best to fight and live as much as I can in the short time you give me. I will show you it is possible to do this. Carpe Ominous!

quotes

"If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty and our loss greater"

Thoughts in the dark

I sit here in the dark. Empty house and an empty life. So long I search for the light that will guide me through the night. I see it and follow so long on the path only to discover that it is fireflies. Reality hits me like an anvil in a classic cartoon. This is it! That moment I have been long afraid of. I see that there is only emptiness and a void for me. No time! No time left to find the life that I have prayed for since I was a child. So much left to do, so much to accomplish. How did it go so wrong? How did I run out of time?

Prophet and therapist to some and hard case to others. My actions and intent misunderstood from the moment of it's emotional conception. How can I be better with so little time. The ones I love will never know anything more than what little fragments of memory they posses? How will I be remembered when the moment comes? What will be said of me? Will I be missed? I fear so much and know very little. This has to be a nightmare. Someone please know me for my soul and not my methods. There is so much more than I could ever hope to express to others.

So I sit here alone in the dark. Always alone. Never a moment of true joy other than the minutes I spend with my children I guess in the long run that is it. But I sit here alone and wait for my last visitor I will ever see. Wait just a little longer. Give me more time to see if there is hope for me.

Walk you home

Slow down, what's on your mind
It's alright, i'm on your side
I hate to see your injury, i wish that you could transfer all
Your pain to me
Stay here, it's ok to cry
Let me, help you make it right
Let's turn up our radio, let the bands remind you that your not
Alone
We all get low

Chorus
Even the brave may depend on someone
The moon only shines with the help of the sun
It's not as safe when your walking alone
I'll walk you home

Suns out, but it feels like rain
So i will, illuminate your day
I'm afraid i'm losing it, what's it gonna take for me to get
Throught this
We'll get through this

Chorus

Bridge
Need the band to play the song
Someone's had to keep you strong
It's harder when your on your own
Success is not the same alone
Can't have up without a down
Need the straight to have the round
I'll provide the harmony
Your song is best accompanied

Chorus

You

Do you see me? The safe place you long for.
You walk in a whirlwind of sorrow and feel the rain.
I wait for you in the storm smile on my face.

I reach out my hand to you and offer you light.
You should embrace me in the cold so we may dance.
I help you forget the pain of the past with a kiss.

look into my eyes and see the world as i do.
hear my heart and know that there is a forever.
my breath on your neck as i sing hope to your soul.
never looking back and always knowing the road leads us home.

You should know that happiness is in your arms.
Feeling the joy that brings peace to your heart.
You should sleep knowing that you are safe in my arms.

I'm your shelter in this world were nothing else is true.
Dancing with you through the eternal night and rain.
Holding you close and kissing away your pain.

look into my eyes and see the world as i do.
hear my heart and know that there is a forever.
my breath on your neck as i sing hope to your soul.
never looking back and always knowing the road leads us home.

You know I'm the foundation of everything your heart desires.
I bring out parts of you that you thought were gone.
Take me and hold me as I hold you forever immortal in love.

I'm your shelter in this world were nothing else is true.
Dancing with you through eternal night and rain.
Never forsake the gift we are to one another.
I have always loved you.

another hope

It is a privilege to grow old with someone. To find someone to love and who will love you for who you are and not for what you can give them. We should never scoff at it nor run away. We should cherish what you have and learn not to take the risk of losing it once you find it. We only have one life. One moment to bring the magic of this universe into this terrible and tragic world. Don't squander this rare gift that fate has seen fit to give you, cause it will be the only time that it is offered. Life won't bring something this wonderful to you again.

It is time for you to decide what it is that you fear the most. Taking the chance to embrace the love you are given and be happy or to risk throwing away something as precious as unconditional love. Don't be a fool. Don't risk the pain and loneliness that will haunt you. The thought of what could have been should be more terrifying than the thought of getting hurt. Remember that you should take your chances and give the best of who you are. Don't wait or linger.

Staind Tangled up in you

You're my world
The shelter from the rain
You're the pills
That take away my pain
You’re the light
That helps me find my way
You’re the words
When I have nothing to say

And in this world
Where nothing else is true
Here I am
Still tangled up in you
I’m still tangled up in you
Still tangled up in you

You're the fire
That warms me when I'm cold
You're the hand I have to hold
As I grow old
You're the shore
When I am lost at sea
You're the only thing
That I like about me

And in this world
Where nothing else is true
Here I am
Still tangled up in you
I’m still tangled up in you

How long has it been
Since this storyline began
And I hope it never ends
And goes like this forever

In this world
Where nothing else is true
Here I am
Still tangled up in you
Tangled up in you
I’m still tangled up in you
Still tangled up in you